Required Reading: Letter 11: On The Blush Of ModestyÂ
“Happy is the man who can make others better not merely when he is in their company, but even when he is in their thoughts.”
There is a keen difference between blushing and being bashful; one is natural, the other controlled. How many times have you done something for which you didn’t wish to be recognized and so you coyed? This is okay; yet, how many times have you done things in which you are ashamed; embarrassed for being caught? I’ll answer that one; lots! Yet, a wise man knows that the ability to blush is something out of his control; he may try to curtail this positive feeling or expression to no avail.
I speak for self; for I have a natural tendency to slightly stick out my tongue by the corner of my mouth when I blush; something that has gotten me awkward looks more times than once; hey, it’s natural what can I say? It catches all of us by surprise; forgive me.
Many others express such tendencies in varying degrees. As Seneca mentions when discussing seasoned speakers; who find themselves when before the public; “some break into perspirations…others knee tremble, still some teeth chatter, tongues falter or lips quiver.” He purports that training and experience can never shake off this habit; for it’s nature’s way of exerting her power over us mortals; no man is completely free of faults!
There is some positive fault that comes to bear every now and then; and blushing is such an avenue to show modesty; this should be welcome and not forcefully discarded; for it continues our obedience to the supremacy of nature and such is a good thing!
Now, on this idea of being bashful; ashamed; embarassed perhaps for some negative fault of ours, hear the thinker as he references Epicurus “Cherish some man of high character, and keep him ever before your eyes; living as if he were watching you and ordering all your actions as if he beheld them.” He continues “We can get rid of most sins, if we have a witness who stand near us when we are likely to go wrong. The soul should have someone whom it can respect—one by whose authority it may make even its inner shrine more hallowed.”
It is imperative that we find another mortal of higher standard most especially spiritually and have him guide our lives whether we meet him or her personally; listen to their inspirational audios, watch their videos; read their books, or blogs etc. Or perhaps most certainly the use of our imagination; calling him to mind! “Chose such a master whose life, conversation, and soul-expressing face have satisfied you; picture him always to yourself as your protector or your pattern. For we must indeed have someone according to whom we may regulate our characters; you can never straighten that which is crooked unless you use a ruler.” All the greats have this secret weapon in their arsenal! Farewell.
Word of the day:
Countenance (noun): the face; facial expression; composure (the Oxford American Desk Dictionary and Thesaurus 2nd Edition).
Quotations:
“For by no wisdom can natural weaknesses of the body be removed. That which is implanted and inborn can be toned down by training, but not overcome.”
“Whatever is assigned to us by the terms of our birth and the blend in our constitutions, will stick with us, no matter how hard or how long the soul may have tried to master itself.”
“…happy also is he who can so revere a man as to calm and regulate himself by calling him to mind!”
“One who can so revere another, will soon be himself worthy of reverence.”
Questions:
1) Do you blush? How often and what is it like?
2) What usually causes you to blush?
3) Do you have a Master(s) or Guide(s) for your life? Do you revere any man or woman?
4) Why did you choose such a person(s)?
Activity:
1) Willfully call /recall a scene to mind that causes you to blush; how did it make you feel? What part of your body is affected?
2) List five persons you revere; persons who bring you the highest level of Well-Being when you think of them.
3) Begin to live your life in such a way as if this ONE was watching you; guiding you. This should be someone or a blend of persons you’d love to someday become or surpass in character and achievement.
